July 19, 2016 in 3,802 words

It’s nose-lickin’ good!

HOW HIEROGLYPHICS WERE ORIGINALLY TRANSLATED

Today I found out about the history of the Rosetta Stone and how hieroglyphics were first translated.

Hieroglyphics were elaborate, elegant symbols used prolifically in Ancient Egypt. The symbols decorated temples and tombs of pharaohs. However, being quite ornate, other scripts were usually used in day-to-day life, such as demotic, a precursor to Coptic, which was used in Egypt until the 1000s. These other scripts were sort of like different hieroglyphic fonts—your classic Times New Roman to Jokerman or Vivaldi.

Unfortunately, hieroglyphics started to disappear. Christianity was becoming more and more popular, and around 400 A.D. hieroglyphics were outlawed in order to break from the tradition of Egypt’s “pagan” past. The last dated hieroglyph was carved in a temple on the island of Philae in 395 A.D. Coptic was then written and spoken—a combination of twenty-four Greek characters and six demotic characters—before the spread of Arabic meant that Egypt was cut off from the last connection to its linguistic past. …

The Late Show live-streamed the RNC’s ketchup and mustard station for 2 hours

Metaphors can be complicated, but sometimes a situation will arise that is so bizarre or surprising on a cosmic level that it simply has to mean something. It’s certainly possible that we’re all just blindly following a predetermined path and nothing in our entire lives really goes beyond the surface, but all of those Twilight Zone episodes really seemed to hammer in the idea that everything in life has a deeper meaning or lesson that we should take away. Of course, sometimes it’s just hard to figure out what that deeper meaning is.

That brings us to The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, which celebrated the beginning of the Republican National Convention by setting up a camera in front of a condiment station in Cleveland’s Quicken Loans Arena and live-streaming America’s top Republicans putting stuff on their hot dogs for two hours. On the one hand, it’s the kind of low-level absurdity that’s funny because of how stupid it is, but on the other hand, it is weirdly fascinating to see all of these people doing the same thing in slightly different ways. One guy will put too much ketchup on his hot dog. Another will do too much mustard. One guy will take a bunch of napkins. Others won’t take any.

Then there’s the idea of the condiments themselves, which could be metaphors all on their own. What is ketchup? What is mustard? What are hot dogs? …

A GOP Congressman Just Made An Argument For White Supremacy On Live TV

^{Rep. Steve King suggested no “other subgroup of people” has contributed as much.}

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) made an outrageous statement about the contributions of Western civilization ― i.e., the one crafted primarily by white people ― over “any other subgroup” during an appearance Monday on MSNBC.

Another guest, Esquire editor-at-large Charlie Pierce, noted that the Republican National Convention was likely to be “wired by loud, unhappy, dissatisfied white people” who wouldn’t tolerate any sign of party rebellion. Chaos had erupted earlier in the day after opponents of Donald Trump attempted to derail his nomination.

King retorted that he was tired of efforts to blame “white people.” And then he took it a step further, as is the congressman’s wont: He suggested that white people are actually responsible for most of the good in the world. …

10 Horrific Native American Massacres

The first 100 years or so of the United States’ existence was filled with travesties like the Civil War and the enormous slave trade which flourished in the South. In addition, manifest destiny and the inherent racism involved with the “white man’s burden” led to a number of horrible massacres of the Native American population. Some are well-known, like the Wounded Knee Massacre, but there are other terrible examples that we shouldn’t forget.

10. Sand Creek Massacre

At Sand Creek in the Colorado territory in 1864, the Cheyenne village of around 800 was supposed to be protected territory. Chief Black Kettle had brokered a deal with a nearby US Army fort for his people’s safety, but this proved to be an outright lie.

Colonel John Chivington had decided that winning battles against local Native American tribes was the best way to become a territorial delegate to Congress. When spring 1864 proved fruitless for battle, he used a 700-volunteer militia to burn Native American villages.

On November 29, just one day after Black Kettle’s deal, the Colorado Volunteers attacked Sand Creek. Nearly all the Cheyenne men were out hunting, leaving the women, children, and elders with no one to protect them. Between 100 and 400 Native Americans were slaughtered. …

Sanders Fans Plan DNC ‘Fart-In’ Protest of Clinton Nomination

Former Philadelphia health commissioner Dr. Walter H. Tsou can’t help but let out a light-hearted laugh when he talks about flatulence.

But for Tsou, the reason why he and others — including some Democratic delegates who support former candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders — plan to eat beans and pass gas at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia is anything but a laughing matter.

“It’s a whimsical way of raising a protest,” Tsou told NBC News. “There’s a lot of things that stink about this whole democratic primary process.”

Billed as a “fart-in,” the coordinated assault on the olfactory system is scheduled for July 28 both inside the Wells Fargo Center and outside on the street, at the moment presumptive Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton accepts the party’s nomination, organizer Cheri Honkala told NBC News. …

Latest Guccifer 2.0 Leak Reaffirms Primaries Were Rigged for Clinton

^{And, of course, a dodgy DNC blames Russian hackers}

On July 18, hacker Guccifer 2.0 released a new batch of documents obtained from DNC servers. Among the files given exclusively to The Hill is a DNC memo to Clinton political operatives on March 24, 2015—before she formally announced her candidacy—outlining how to legally solicit pro-Clinton super-PACs. “The memo was sent to political consultant John Podesta, now Clinton’s campaign chairman; Clinton fundraising guru Dennis Cheng; and campaign manager Robby Mook,” reported The Hill.

The memo is just one of several documents released by Guccifer 2.0 proving the Democratic National Committee rigged the system for Clinton. Before the primaries began, DNC strategies were developed with Clinton in mind as the presidential nominee. The leak affirms claims by Bernie Sanders’ supporters that the Democratic primaries were not an election, but rather a coronation for Hillary Clinton.

Because many of the documents implicate mainstream media outlets in their complacency to adhere to the DNC’s strategy, the Guccifer 2.0 hacks have gone largely unreported. Some of the documents even unveil how the Clinton campaign fed specific stories to the media in order to boost their political agenda. …

10 Everyday Things Worshiped As Sacred

Every religion seems a bit strange if you’re not a member. The idea of worshiping an unseen god or a many-handed elephant can all seem a little bit odd if it’s not a part of your culture.

Those, however, are just the religions that caught on. There have been other things through history that people have decided to kneel down and pray to that never really made the same splash—and they might not be the things you’d expect.

10. Big Butts

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a woman’s behind and thinking that you’re having a spiritual experience, we have the religion for you: Adonitology is a church dedicated to the worship of fat-bottomed girls. Adonitology is no joke; it’s a real religion with a real church and real followers. It even has its own holy book.

The self-proclaimed prophet Adonis claims that on January 3, 1996, he was visited by three holy figures—Jesus, an angel named Elishamel, and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, though, was a woman with a big booty. Jesus told him it was God’s will that women with big butts would come into power in the 21st century and that he was to start a religion dedicated to their worship. …

David Lynch on Where Great Ideas Come From

In 2008, The Atlantic sat down with the filmmaker David Lynch as he mused about inspiration and how to capture the flow of creativity. Now, we’ve animated his words of advice. “A lot of artists think that suffering is necessary,” he says. “But in reality, any kind of suffering cramps the flow of creativity.” …

Polyamorous in Portland: the city making open relationships easy

^{In Portland, Oregon – one of America’s most sexually tolerant cities – it seems you can’t throw a stone without finding a consensual non-monogamous relationship}

When Franklin Veaux was 10 years old, his elementary school English teacher read his class a story about a princess being wooed by two princes. “I thought, princesses live in castles, and castles are big enough for all three of them, so why does she have to choose one?” he said.

Throughout his life, Franklin – now 50 and living in Portland, Oregon – has never chosen one. In fact, he’s never had a monogamous relationship in his life, even while he was married for 18 years. “Monogamy has never connected with me, it’s never made sense to me,” said Franklin, who took two dates to his high school prom and lost his virginity in a threesome.

Yet it wasn’t until the 1990s that he found the language to describe his lifestyle. Until then, he just considered himself “open”.

Polyamory is the practice of intimate relationships involving more than two people with the consent of everyone involved. In recent years, polyamory is working its way to becoming a household term. Researchers have estimated that 4 to 5% of Americans practice some form of consensual non-monogamy. A 2014 blog post by Psychology Today revealed that 9.8 million people have agreed to allow satellite lovers in their relationships, which includes poly couples, swinging couples and others practicing sexual non-monogamy.

And in Portland – home to swingers’ clubs, the most strip bars per capita, and annual porn festivals – it seems you can’t throw a stone without finding a poly relationship. Although there’s no official data supporting an exact number, various Meetup groups boast a few thousand members each, while other Facebook groups have hundreds. …

COULD PIRANHA REALLY TURN YOU INTO A SKELETON IN A MATTER OF MINUTES?

Alongside sharks, crocodiles and that fish people incorrectly believe can swim up a stream of urine if you pee in the Amazon, piranhas are amongst the most feared aquatic creatures on Earth. This is mostly due to the popularly held idea that a large and hungry enough shoal of piranhas could reduce you to nothing more than a skeleton in a matter of moments- an idea that, as it turns out, isn’t without precedent, but most certainly doesn’t tell the whole story about whether piranhas are actually dangerous to humans. (And, incidentally, if you live in the U.S., you are nearly four times as likely to be killed by a vending machine as a shark, with an average annual death rate of 2.18 for vending machines and 0.6 deaths from shark attacks.)

The first thing we should address is that, for the most part, piranhas pose no threat to humans and there are countless documented examples of people swimming in water filled to bursting with the fish without incident. In fact, to prove this point, one Dr. Herbert Axelrod even waded into a pool filled with the most dangerous of piranhas, the red-bellied piranha, wearing nothing but swim shorts. To put the final nail in the coffin of the myth, he even held out some fresh, bloody meat on a hook right in front of himself, which the piranhas eventually ate, but still left the giant meatbag standing just an arm’s length away, Dr. Axelrod, completely alone. …

Criminals plant banking malware where victims least expect it

^{Result was a highly effective means for distributing account-draining Trojan.}

A criminal gang recently found an effective way to spread malware that drains online bank accounts. According to a blog post published Monday, they bundled the malicious executable inside a file that installed a legitimate administrative tool available for download.

The legitimate tool is known as Ammyy Admin and is used to provide remote access to a computer so someone can work on it even when they don’t have physical access to it. According to Monday’s blog post, members of a criminal enterprise known as Lurk somehow managed to tamper with the Ammyy installer so that it surreptitiously installed a malicious spyware program in addition to the legitimate admin tool people expected. To increase their chances of success, the criminals modified the PHP script running on the Ammyy Web server, suggesting they had control over the website.

What resulted was a highly effective means for distributing the banking Trojan. …

Human Hearing Loss Could Be Reversible

^{Many animals regenerate the tiny hair cells that enable hearing—and there are promising signs that people can be made to do the same.}

After a songbird loses its hearing due to physical trauma or loud noise, the sensory hair cells in its inner ear regenerate naturally. The healed bird can use its restored hearing to decode complex songs from other birds. In fact, this ear repair is almost universal in vertebrates. Fish and frogs share it. Only for mammals is hair cell death irreparable.

More than a third of seniors suffer from at least moderate hearing loss, and while hearing aids have improved over the years, no drug currently exists on the market to recover their lost hearing. In the lower vertebrates like fish and birds, those new hair cells arise from the supporting cells of the cochlea’s lining. Now, for the first time, scientists are developing methods that could do the same for humans.

We owe our hearing to a tiny field of swaying cilia deep in the skull. Four rows of hair cells sprout in the snail-shaped cochlea of the inner ear, which is filled with fluid. Sound vibrations cause them to bend, opening pores that activate electrical signals bound for the brain. We are born with 15,000 hair cells in each ear, but unlike skin or other cell types, they do not turn over or replenish themselves. Loss of these hair cells over time accounts for much of the age-related hearing loss around the world, as well as that caused by too much loud noise. A loud sound can permanently bend or physically prune a fragile hair cell, rendering it ineffective. …

5 Ways The Modern World Makes Mass Brainwashing Easy As Hell

If movies are any indication of how the real world works, your supervillain plan for world domination needs to have at least 20 steps and somehow involve the Moon. If it isn’t circuitously complicated, why even bother? But in reality, a true supervillain doesn’t need access to the world’s gold supply or an arsenal of nukes to make the planet go his or her way. Our next evil mastermind simply needs a basic understanding of how the rest of us use the internet.

#5. The Upvote Mechanism Makes It Easy For A Few People To Control A Large Group

With a wealth of information at the fingertips of anyone owning an internet-connected device, you would think we would be the most informed mamajammas to have ever walked the Earth. And you’d be wrong! Yes, we have a lot of information to explore, but that information is so curated that it might as well not be there. And one way we curate our own exposure to ideas is by upvoting, or “liking,” other people’s posts.

You know the drill: On sites like Reddit or Yelp, comments and posts rise to the top based on votes. The problem is that we aren’t totally honest with ourselves when it comes to how we vote. Let’s say you’re the first person to read a Reddit post. You want to give the writer a quick nod of encouragement for speaking his or her mind, so you give it an upvote. Whoever encounters the post next is going to respond to the content PLUS the vote you just gave. If your response was positive, they’re more likely to vote positively as well. And then the next person, who sees two positive responses, feels compelled to agree with the two people who clearly saw something special in the post. Several thousand upvotes later, we’ve got content on the front page of Reddit.

^{Racial politics and failed military takeovers are only slightly
more susceptible to groupthink than Pokemon made of foliage.}

…

Why the top 5 tech companies are dead set on AI

At nearly every major technology event for the past five years we’ve been given at least one “wow” moment — when one of the big players would unveil some sort of product or service that no one had ever seen before.

The bar was set high for innovation, because there were wide-open spaces to be filled. Technology was revolutionary, not evolutionary. (Cue a dramatic Jobs-esque pause here.)

But so far in 2016, technology events have been disappointing. Mobile World Congress didn’t result in anything extraordinary, and both Google I/O and Apple’s WWDC were underwhelming, too. Microsoft made more splash with its LinkedIn acquisition than its March developer conference, and even Facebook’s F8 created more of a muted rumble than a stir. …

The Tiny Irish Island That Will Welcome American Refugees

Inishturk, Ireland, has a population of 58 and its people—according to a widely circulated Internet rumor—have offered refuge to any Americans who want to flee from a Donald Trump presidency. This charming documentary by MEL Films, Make Inishturk Great Again, takes us to the sparsely inhabited island to get the locals’ perspectives on America, the presidential election, and what Trump has said about Ireland. The film has an obvious perspective on Trump that is far from impartial, but it’s entertaining and adventurous nonetheless. To see more films from MEL, visit their website and Vimeo page. …

10 Fascinating Historic Architectural Features

Thanks to the innovative and impressive minds of designers, many architectural features of today are modern and intriguing. However, some from yesteryear are just as spectacular—and, better still, often have a fascinating story behind them. Below we have a list of 10 such intriguing and rather odd architectural features from the past.

10. Witch Windows

Witch windows are windows rotated 45 degrees and placed in the gable-end wall of a house. Being diagonal and parallel to the roof slope means that these windows could be fitted in places where traditional windows did not otherwise fit. It has also been suggested that witch windows were installed as a result of cold winters in Vermont (where they are most popular), as many traditional windows let in too much of a draft in winter.

The curious name “witch window” is derived from the superstition that witches could not fly inside the house through these windows. Sometimes, these windows also go by the name “coffin windows,” either because of their shape (which resembles coffins) or because it was through these odd windows that coffins were removed from the house if it was not possible to do so in any other way. Other less popular names for these windows include “lazy windows,” “sideways windows,” and “Vermont windows.” …

Google named the next version of Android after my cat and here is proof

^{Nougat gets his day}

When Google first announced in May that it was accepting naming suggestions for the next version of Android — something that started with the letter “N” and referenced some sort of sweet, of course — I campaigned hard on the internets for the name Nougat.

Why, you might ask? Nougat happens to be the (given) name of my objectively adorable cat, he who guarantees I never miss any news by waking me up at ungodly hours, ensures I will never freeze to death by shedding on almost everything, and enjoys sleeping on my laptop keys right when I’m on deadline.

Don't forget to vote for #AndroidNougat people https://t.co/1w9myV1x7x (P.S. that's actually an Echo box) pic.twitter.com/QHgamOmFCi

— Lauren Goode (@LaurenGoode) May 25, 2016

…

It’s Officially Cool to Be Completely Apathetic About Pokémon Go

The life cycle of a trend usually goes something like this: manic obsession, backlash, backlash to the backlash, slow death. With the Pokémon Go craze, it seems that the “manic obsession” phase has just about run its course, which is lovely because that means we’re one step closer to that slow, gentle death. (How sweetly she coos.)

Brands and politicians getting in on the fun has ushered Pokémon Go into the era of backlash. WIRED already proclaimed that it’s “officially cool” to hate Pokémon Go. Someone with far too much time on their hands has taken to graffiti-ing “Pokémon NO” on the streets on New York City. Their mission statement? “More and more Pokemon players are getting into accidents. Take care cause you can’t catch them all, if you get caught first.”

Noble. …

I found my GET OFF MY LAWN hero. pic.twitter.com/6BfDPptyx4

— Seth Pollack (@sethpo) July 18, 2016

CHARLES OSBORNE HAD THE HICCUPS FOR 68 YEARS, FROM 1922 TO 1990

Today I found out Charles Osborne (1894-1991) had the hiccups non-stop for approximately 68 years, from 1922 to June 5th, 1990. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, this is the longest bout of the hiccups ever recorded.

His hiccups first started in 1922 while weighing a hog for slaughter. As he says, “I was hanging a 350 pound hog for butchering. I picked it up and then I fell down. I felt nothing, but the doctor said later that I busted a blood vessel the size of a pin in my brain.” The result being that he damaged a small part of his brain that inhibits the hiccup response, according to Dr. Terence Anthoney who treated Osborne later in life.

In the beginning, Osborne’s hiccups occurred at a rate of around 40 times per minute on average. Throughout his life, this gradually slowed to about 20 hiccups per minute until they finally stopped mysteriously about one year before his death in 1991. It is estimated that he hiccuped over 430 million times in his lifetime! …

Video Goodnesses
(and not-so-goodnesses)

Sensing that his timeless wisdom is needed at The Late Show, the character “Stephen Colbert” rides into the Ed Sullivan Theater in a blaze of glory, and sums up this inexplicable election season in one word: “Trumpiness.”

Unable to explain the success of Trump’s campaign, Stephen seeks out Jon Stewart for advice interrupting the former “Daily Show” anchor’s blissful, kale-fueled isolation.

THANKS to CBS and The Lte Show with Stephen Colbert for making this program available on YouTube.

Up until last week, most people didn’t know who Mike Pence was. Now they’re just wishing they didn’t.

Cleveland is totally 100% definitely maybe almost sort of mostly prepared for the RNC.

THANKS to TBS and Full Frontal with Samantha Bee for making this program available on YouTube.

A look at the show that brought humor and emotion into the sterile world of science and arithmetic.