January 17, 2019 in 3,322 words

Impeach Donald Trump

_{^{Starting the process will rein in a president who is undermining American ideals—and bring the debate about his fitness for office into Congress, where it belongs}}

ON JANUARY 20, 2017, Donald Trump stood on the steps of the Capitol, raised his right hand, and solemnly swore to faithfully execute the office of president of the United States and, to the best of his ability, to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States. He has not kept that promise.

Instead, he has mounted a concerted challenge to the separation of powers, to the rule of law, and to the civil liberties enshrined in our founding documents. He has purposefully inflamed America’s divisions. He has set himself against the American idea, the principle that all of us—of every race, gender, and creed—are created equal.

This is not a partisan judgment. Many of the president’s fiercest critics have emerged from within his own party. Even officials and observers who support his policies are appalled by his pronouncements, and those who have the most firsthand experience of governance are also the most alarmed by how Trump is governing.

“The damage inflicted by President Trump’s naïveté, egotism, false equivalence, and sympathy for autocrats is difficult to calculate,” the late senator and former Republican presidential nominee John McCain lamented last summer. “The president has not risen to the mantle of the office,” the GOP’s other recent nominee, the former governor and now senator Mitt Romney, wrote in January.

The oath of office is a president’s promise to subordinate his private desires to the public interest, to serve the nation as a whole rather than any faction within it. Trump displays no evidence that he understands these obligations. To the contrary, he has routinely privileged his self-interest above the responsibilities of the presidency. He has failed to disclose or divest himself from his extensive financial interests, instead using the platform of the presidency to promote them. This has encouraged a wide array of actors, domestic and foreign, to seek to influence his decisions by funneling cash to properties such as Mar-a-Lago (the “Winter White House,” as Trump has branded it) and his hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue. Courts are now considering whether some of those payments violate the Constitution. …

Native American routes: the ancient trails hidden in Chicago’s grid system

_{Many of the city’s roads began as indigenous pathways – just one example of Native American infrastructure that helped make Chicago a successful city,}

_{Members of the Chippewa, Pueblo and Winnebago tribes look out over Chicago’s skyline from the roof of the Hotel Sherman.}

At 65, Chicago’s American Indian Center is the oldest urban indigenous center in the US. Its current retrospective highlights its importance to the city and is intended to serve as “evidence of the Native experience, existence, and survival.” But there is an easier way to see the enduring indigenous influence on Chicago – simply walk a few blocks east to Clark Street.

Named for George Rogers Clark, whose brother William was one half of the Lewis and Clark expedition, Clark Street was formed during the tail end of the ice age and has been a key trail for thousands of years. Its irregularity is an unnoticed but integral reminder of the many tribes that once called the area home, and a fitting example of the erasure of the Native influence on the city’s development.

Natural roots, indigenous routes

Over the course of four distinct periods of glacial melting, stretching as far back as 14,500 years ago, Chicago’s terrain was shaped by the ebbs and flows of melting ice. Through the process of littoral drift, where small bits of sand and organic matter drifted from place to place on the tide, small but distinct ridges were etched into the land. Those natural high grounds, rising no more than 10 or 15 feet above the rest of the terrain, became some of the pathways used by Native peoples as they began to inhabit the area about 11,000 years ago.

These high points held obvious value: most of the land was swampy, and very little stayed dry year-round. Indigenous tribes passed down their understanding of the land’s natural features through oral traditions. Incoming European settlers, including French trappers traveling to the area during the 17th and 18th centuries, depended on this knowledge for survival. They also quickly came to understand the significance of the trails, adapting them for commercial and military purposes. …

The Attention Economy Is a Malthusian Trap

_{Big tech companies now trade at one of the smallest premiums in history.}

On September 28, 2018, tech died.

That’s according to a widely circulated eulogy prepared by Vincent Deluard, a strategist at INTL FCStone, a financial-services company. “If technology is everywhere, the tech sector no longer exists,” he wrote. “If the tech sector no longer exists, its premium is no longer justified.” When the Financial Times got its hands on the document, it leaned into the death thesis, declaring: “The tech sector is over.”

In news reports, death has several definitions. When it applies to a person, it means the end of life. When it applies to a company or industry, it means the end of growth. Print is dead, live TV is dead, and Millennials killed American cheese; but you can still read a print newspaper with the TV on while eating a cheeseburger.

Under the latter definition, tech stocks really do look like goners. Publicly traded companies that are classified as “tech” now trade at one of the smallest premiums in history, according to a recent JP Morgan analyst note. The most famous of these companies—the so-called faangs, of Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, and Google—have seen their price-earnings ratios collapse by more than 60 percent in the past two years. …

5 Types Of Crime Everybody Pictures Completely Wrong

Since only a small fraction of our traffic comes from prisons and volcanic hideouts, we’re guessing that most of what you know about crime comes from pop culture. Shockingly, badass action movies and ennui-filled cable shows aren’t the best sources for accurate data about this subject. Other than the “doing crimes” part, the lives of criminals are drastically different from what we imagine. Just look at how …

5. The Average Bank Robbery Nets A Disappointingly Low Amount

If you need money in a hurry and aren’t too keen on that whole “work” thing, have you tried robbing a bank? It’s incredibly dangerous, sure, but if you pull it off, you’ll have a lifetime of relaxation awaiting on your new private-island-shaped yacht or yacht-shaped private island. Or even a yacht-shaped yacht, if you’re one of those weirdos.

Of course, there are a couple of things that we should mention. Firstly, please don’t rob a bank (our lawyers begged us to add that). Secondly, it turns out that bank robberies are such a terrible way to make money that, screw retirement, it’d be hard to justify calling in sick to your day job on the day of the “big” score.

Or at least, that’s the conclusion of a study conducted by economists Giovanni Mastrobuoni and David A. Rivers. After poring over data relating to every bank robbery conducted in Italy between 2000 and 2006, the two discovered that the average bank heist yielded $19,800, which is nowhere near the $10 million you promised Brad Pitt if he joined your crew.

_{You could afford Matt Damon, but only barely.}

They also found that the average heists lasts four minutes, and if you manage to stay in there for longer than that (think of baseball or something), each additional minute nets you an extra $1,700 on average. Somebody’s gonna have to do the math on how many minutes you’d have to be camped out in your local depository if you want those aforementioned yachts and islands, but put it this way: Pack a good book and a penknife, because you’re going to have to whittle one of those cashier desks into a bed. …

Move aside, Gillette: four products to rile men who like their masculinity toxic

_{Following the razor brand’s viral ad criticising toxic masculinity, expect a new wave of woke marketing in 2019.}

Gillette’s new advert has sharply divided the internet with its critique of toxic masculinity, after suggesting that men in 2019 could be doing better in some areas. The campaign has been met with outrage in some quarters and triggered a meltdown among so-called men’s rights activists, a typically sensitive bunch.

Still, the brains behind the campaign will undoubtedly be pleased by the huge amount of attention they have generated. The ad’s success means we will likely be seeing a lot more men’s products tackling modern gender politics soon. Here’s what they should look like.

An energy drink for stay-at-home dads

Stay AWAKE and experience the CHRONICALLY UNDERVALUED PLEASURE of EQUALLY DIVIDING the RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTHOOD with your PARTNER.

Or, if you’re a REAL MAN, PUT YOUR CAREER ON HOLD and do the MAJORITY OF THE WORK YOURSELF, like many women have done FOR MILLENNIA.

Tagline: STAY WOKE.

…

_{Read on for a body spraythat attracts all genders, and more.}

Mushroom magic: why the latest health fad might be on to something

_{Fungi are increasingly touted as a cure-all by health and wellness gurus. We took a look at the claims of immune support, stamina and longevity.}

_{With supplement manufacturers making broad health claims, the market for mushrooms in the US is expected to grow by 50% in the next three years. Vitamin D might be one good reason to consume wild fungi.}

One Saturday last May, Shane Heath woke up with an idea: the young serial entrepreneur would market the drink he had been sharing with friends in Venice Beach – a muddy concoction of tea, cocoa, spices and four kinds of mushrooms – to the wider world. “Over the weekend I designed the brand, ordered a minimal amount of inventory, and put up a website,” says Heath. By Tuesday, he was online selling 15-serving tins of the dry drink mix he dubbed Mud\Wtr for $30 each. Six months later, revenues exceeded six figures, he says, and with the start of the new year, “we secured a million-dollar investment fund and moved into an office in Los Angeles”.

Mushrooms are having a moment. And the market goes far beyond the portobellos, shiitakes and button mushrooms you find in the produce section. Whole Foods named so-called “functional mushrooms”, used for centuries in traditional medicine, as one of the top 10 food trends of 2018. Suddenly, exotic varieties such as reishi, chaga, cordyceps and lion’s mane are turning up in everything from powders and extracts to coffees, teas, smoothies, broths, chocolates, face creams and shower gels.

US sales of mushrooms accounted for nearly $5bn in revenue in 2017, according to the market research firm Grand View Research, and the market is projected to rise to $7.4bn in the next three years.

Heath freely admits that the draw is not so much the earthy flavor, but the idea that consuming mushrooms will make you feel and perform better. According to the Mud\Wtr website, chaga mushrooms “provide energy and mood enhancement”, cordyceps “increase vitality and endurance”, lion’s mane “improve brain function” and reishi “fight off tumor and cancer growth”.

Mud\Wtr joins scores of other companies selling products that tout mushrooms as a magic elixir. …

Video Goodnesses
_{and not-so-goodnesses}

Gillette — the best a man can get — is famous for their razors. And for putting as many blades as they possibly can in said razors.

This week, the company’s become famous for another reason: their latest ad campaign — titled “The best a man can be” — which calls out some of the worst traits of masculinity, including catcalling and sexual assault, and referencing the Me Too movement.

And you believe, the ad’s attracted controversy. Because not all men … is the sentiment most online comments seem to be echoing. If you look at the all-important YouTube metrics, the video has amassed more than 13 million views in three days, and has 326,000 likes, compared to more than 700,000 dislikes on the platform. Though those numbers are also part of the controversy. Commenters are accusing the brand of deleting dislikes, as well as deleting negative comments below the video.

Prominent defenders of men are speaking out against the ad, saying they won’t be lectured to. Prominent British man-defender Piers Morgan wrote a column calling the ad the “worst attack on men this week,” saying Gillette’s commercials, apparently until now, “have unashamedly celebrated men and masculinity. You watch them and feel good about being male.” Prominent advocate of boys cleaning their rooms, Jordan Peterson, also called for a boycott of Gillette’s parent company.

What some people are seeing as a brand using its huge platform to spread a positive message, others are interpreting as a vicious attack on an entire gender.

So here it: the version of the ad that manly, angry, extremely online men apparently saw, sending them into conniptions.

_{THANKS to HBO and VICE News for making this program available on YouTube.}

Gillette’s ad about toxic masculinity is nothing compared to the new commercial for Iceguard windshield scrapers.

_{THANKS to CBS and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert for making this program available on YouTube.}

CAUTION: Some language may not be appropriate for work or children.

Here’s me critical analysis of that gillette ad about workin’ on being a good bloke. Here’s the video in its raw form for you to make up ya own minds: https://youtu.be/koPmuEyP3a0

Back in December, it looked like President Donald Trump and the Democrats had a deal to fund the government. Then Ann Coulter weighed in, branding the president “gutless” and “a vulgar publicity hound” for failing to deliver on his biggest campaign promise of 2016: to build a “big, beautiful” wall on the southern border, even with his party in control of both houses of Congress.

A day later, Trump informed then-House Speaker Paul Ryan he would not sign a Senate spending bill to keep the government open, triggering what’s become the longest government shutdown in modern American history.

Coulter and other conservative pundits were credited with convincing the president to use a shutdown to confront the Democrats over the border wall. She has enough perceived influence that Democratic Rep. Jackie Speier called on Coulter Tuesday to tell Trump it’s OK to open the government without wall funding.

But 24 days into the shutdown, she isn’t walking it back.

“He is dead in the water if he doesn’t build that wall. Dead, dead, dead. Dead,” Coulter told VICE News’ Michael Moynihan. “I mean at some point I think people are gonna realize this is just the Democrats. They’re obsessing on this wall because they want Trump to break a promise.”

For Coulter, it doesn’t matter how or when the shutdown ends, so long as the president keeps it about immigration and border security. “You’ve always had the power, Mr. President. You’re the commander-in-chief. Your number one job is to defend the borders,” she said.

“More Americans dying of drug overdoses every year than died in the entire course of the entire Vietnam War, and the vast majority of those drugs are being brought in because we have an open border.”

_{THANKS to HBO and VICE News for making this program available on YouTube.}

Congressman Steve King goes from supporting white supremacy to calling it an evil ideology, putting into question his standing as a certified racist. Sounds like a case for Trevor Noah: Racism Detective.

_{THANKS to Comedy Central and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah for making this program available on YouTube.}

Teachers in L.A. go on strike, an egg becomes the most-liked photo on Instagram, China lands a probe on the dark side of the moon, and Chicago still isn’t over that field goal.

_{THANKS to Comedy Central and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah for making this program available on YouTube.}

Nancy Pelosi disinvited Trump from his own State of the Union address. And it’s going to drive him crazy.

_{THANKS to CBS and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert for making this program available on YouTube.}

Chris Christie’s new book reveals highly classified secrets about the 2016 campaign. For instance, why does Donald Trump wear long ties?

_{THANKS to CBS and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert for making this program available on YouTube.}

Seth takes a closer look at how it’s becoming clear that President Trump has no way out of the government shutdown he’s boxed himself into.

_{THANKS to NBC and Late Night with Seth Meyers for making this program available on YouTube.}

久しぶりの袖まる。”Sleeve Maru” after a long absence.

呼ばれてはいませんが行ってみました。Though I was not called by Maru, I went to rub him.

FINALLY . . .

Meet the Short-Order Cooks So Fucking Good Waffle House Officially Calls Them “Rockstars”

_{And this is what they taught me about food, labor, and (my toxic) masculinity.}

_{The short order line can be understood as a symbol of male rites of passage.}

The grocery store in my part of Brooklyn has a small diner tucked away in the back, with a short-order cook turning out regular American breakfasts every morning. Something I like to do on a weekend is go there to eat, when it’s at its busiest and people are hungry and impatient and crowded close to the counter worrying after their food. It’s the best time to indulge one of my preoccupations: to watch the cook as he works, in the hopes that he will, finally, utterly, and dramatically, crack.

The cook is a hangdog sort, slouchy and grim, with a thin mustache and a wry, put-upon mouth. He doesn’t look to me to possess the spatial organization and concision of movement demanded of a crack short-order jock, one hand waxing while the other paints the fence. Where are the martial rows of bacon, the craggy peaks of starch, the metronomic clang of the spatula against the flattop, the fastidious shriek of a grill scraper channeling away rivulets of rendered fat? His eggs scramble in alarming proximity to his French toast, his pancake batter contaminates the bacon, fried potatoes go lost among the hump-backed and defaced crescents of his omelets, and his over is medium when it should be so, so easy.

Worst of all, he seems worried. Jittery. Uncertain. As if he knows that someday the challenges of the job will grow to be too much for him. Perhaps he is scared that the teeth on some superheated sprocket in his mind will crumble from the strain, and he will be unable to function. Stacks of plates will rise to the smoke ventilators, teetering ominously. A daisy chain of tickets will spool forth from the point-of-sale printer and down to the floor, disappearing beneath the muck of crushed eggshells and burnt toast. And he will be carted away, mumbling something about egg whites, never to sling hash again. It is my intention to be there when this happens.

_{Waffle House expects no more than eight minutes to pass from a customer’s order to delivery.}

In the meantime, I must eat. Not too long ago, I sat down to an early breakfast in a Waffle House in Atlanta: T-bone steak and eggs over easy, hash browns and coffee, buttered white toast and purple jelly. It was a simple plate, plainly made and swiftly delivered by a young, very pregnant African-American woman with a light southern accent and a pierced septum. “Fat lady coming through,” she shouted as she leaned over to refill my coffee. My meal was so, what’s the right word — correct — that it almost defies description. Nothing about the food was remarkable in any way. The eggs were runny, as eggs should be. The steak was seared and salty, as it should be. The hash browns were crisp, the coffee strong and fresh, the toast warm and charred, the jelly purple as a Blow Pop — as it all should be. I ate it with a pleasure that would only unravel on reflection. …

DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY: Prepare to spend a while; it’s a long article worth reading.

_{Ed. More tomorrow? Probably. Possibly. Maybe. Not?}